


Shattered

by aCyanideKiss



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), Bandom
Genre: Lashton - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-15
Updated: 2014-04-14
Packaged: 2018-01-19 11:06:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1467211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aCyanideKiss/pseuds/aCyanideKiss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke is broken and shattered. Of course he has a great life and great friends but being famous does come with a price. Can Ashton put Luke back together?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Self-harm and depressing topics

Luke sat on the edge of his bed in his and Ashton’s room in the boys of 5 Seconds of Summer’s shared flat. He had tears running down his face flowing freely from his icy blue eye they were soft yet hard, soft because he was sad and hard because he angry. He had blood streaming from small cuts on wrists and forearms. His tears mixed with the blood as they feel from his face. Why was Luke like this right now because he was sad, sad from reading all those hateful tweets, sad from knowing the fact the one he loves so dearly will never love him back, sad from knowing his bestfriend and band mate Ashton was so close yet so far away, but then again he was angry, angry for being so worthless, angry for not being good enough for the band, and most of all he was angry for not being good enough for Ashton.

Some people may think Luke is joyful boy from Australia who has gotten the chance to make it big but in reality Luke is a depressed young lad from Australia with a broken smile and scar covered skin who has gotten the chance to make it big. Luke knows he has gotten a great chance some people could only wish for but he knows he’s nothing special he just got a lucky break.

You may be wondering what made Luke like this and well the answer is pretty simple, ever since the age of 7 Luke has been bullied. People used to tell him to just buck it up kids are mean. Luke knew this and when he tried to kill himself when he was 14 he wrote a letter saying:  
I know kids are mean trust me I know.  
He hung himself but it had not worked and his mother, Liz, had found him just hanging there tears going down his face. Luke had been put into therapy until a year ago once everyone thought he was better he began to cut again but him and his friends always wore bracelets no one would think anything of it.

Luke was bother glad but upset nobody noticed. He was glad cause he didn’t want to go back to therapy or be on watch 24/7, but then was upset that nobody cared about him enough to at least check everyonce in awhile. Luke over all knew he shouldn’t be doing it but he felt like he had to. He hated feeling like he had to destroy himself. Although Luke somehow felt like he was more beautiful with the markings only he could see. He also felt more beautiful when he was skinny. He had been getting a lot of hate about being fat, so Luke began to starve himself and when he did eat he purged. Nobody seemed to notice so he thought why not.

Luke put his razor away, cleaned his new wounds and slipped his bracelets back on. He washed his face and made himself presentable. He put his big fake smile on and walked out the door and went into the living room where the rest of the boys were. “Hey guys.” Luke said. “Luke I need to talk to you, now.” Ashton had said earning strange looks from the other 3 boys. “Okay.” Luke said. Ashton had gotten up and started walking, Luke followed.

They were in Ashton and Luke’s room. Ashton had shut the door behind Luke the sat on his bed patting a spot for Luke to sit down. “Give me your wrist.” Ashton said. Luke did gulpping knowingly. Ashton began to take off Luke’s bracelets. “Ashton please don’t do this.” Luke cried one tear escaping his eye. Ashton took off the last bracelet and flipped Luke’s wrists over. Ashton now had tears in his green eyes threatening to spill any minute. “Luke these are new, is this what you were doing in here a few minutes ago? The only reason I had checked is beacause I thought I saw one the other day. I had really hoped I was wrong. Why Luke please tell me maybe I can help.” Ashton says in a hard yet soft voice, kinda like you would describe Luke’s eyes, a few tears escaping. “A-Ashton I’m sorry it’s just the fans an-” Luke begins Ashton then cuts him off “The fans Luke is that why you’ve been starving yourself, I bet you thought I didn’t notice but when your best friend loses 10 pounds in 1 months you’ll notice. Luke you need to listen to me you are perfect, you are my bestfriend if people insult you and make you do this they’re not fans, they’re attention seekers who do it to feel better about themselves. Luke me, the boys, your family, and friends we all love you. So please promise me you’ll stop marking up you beautiful skin and start eatting.” Ashton says almost in a full sob. Luke isn’t much better off. “I’ll try.” Luke says looking into Ashton’s eyes. “That’s a start.” Ashton says wipping a tear away. Ashton kisses all of Luke’s scars and new cuts then put his bracelets back on. Luke smiles. Only if Ashton knew. Ashton stands up and says “Let’s go mate I won’t Calum and Michael I promise, now come on.” he slings his arm around Luke and they walk out to rejoin the other two. Luke just think about what Ashton said, Let’s go mate. Oh how Luke wishes he was more than just Ashton’s mate.

 


	2. Chapter Two

Ashton has been really upset after he found the scars on Luke’s arms. Why would Luke harm himself, why would he starve himself, doesn’t he know how much the boys care, how much Ashton cares. Ashton hasn’t left Luke’s side all week. He waits for Luke to fall asleep before going to bed, he stands by the door of the bathroom and waits for Luke to finish using the bathroom or take a shower, he goes wherever Luke goes, and he makes sure that Luke eats. Ashton has been wreaked because not only has he been doing so much for Luke but he has been having nightmares. They are so vivid Ashton will wake up in the middle of the night screaming.

Right now the boys were backstage after a show. “Wow that was awesome you did great Luke!” Michael said high fiving Luke. “Mikey I tripped over my own feet and screwed up the song.” Luke said only half smiling. “Yeah but dude you came right back and rocked every other song.” Michael replied. Ashton smiled. “Yeah Luke that was awesome.” Calum said grabbing Luke’s shoulders and roughing him around. “Thanks guys now to the house to play some Fifa!” Luke says marching out to the van. “No not Fifa.” Ashton whines walking by Luke’s side. “Oh shut up Ash you are to only person I know who doesn’t like Fifa.” Michael said. And they got in the van and headed home.

Ashton and Mikey were sat on the couch while Luke and Calum sat on the floor playing Fifa. Mikey was on his phone doing whatever he does on his phone while Ash was on twitter. Then he got a text it was from Mikey. He looked over at the boy and Michael just mouthed ‘Read it’. 

From:Mikey To:Ash

Hey Ash Luke is like in between your legs you guys look like a couple so cute.

Ashton rolled his eyes and replied

From:Ash To:Mikey

Shut up Mikey.

From:Mikey To:Ash

Come on Ash you know you like him. You’ve been following him around like a lost puppy all week.

From:Ash To:Mikey

That’s cause I care about him and stuff I’m just worried about him.

From:Mikey To:Ash

Why are you worried is he cutting again?

From:Ash To:Mikey

Yes but I got it don’t worry please just let me take care of him myself.

From:Mikey To:Ash

Fine but if you need my help just let me know.

“Hold up Luke I got a text.” Calum said as he paused their game. Then Ashton got a text.

From:Cal To:Ash

Omg you and Luke look like a couple right now. Mikey’s right you should ask him out. He just texted me ‘Wouldn’t Ash and Luke be a cute couple’

Ashton glared at Michael and then at Calum.

From:Ash To:Mikey

Fine I’ll let you know and you little shit.

From:Ash To:Cal

Come on Luke doesn’t like me like that. So just drop it.

From:Mikey To:Ash

What it’s true

From:Cal To:Ash

Omg you so like Luke like that though I swear I will not tell a living soul.

From:Ash To:Cal

You better not

From:Ash To:Mikey

Drop it 

“I think I’m gonna go to bed now.” Luke says. “Alright I’ll come with you.” Ashton said and they went to their room. Ashton got another text and groaned.

From:Cal To:Ash

We have a good picture of you and Luke like that do you want it?

From:Ash To:Cal

Just shut up and send it to me.

Ashton received the photo, smiled at it for awhile, then made it his wallpaper, his screen lock being all the boys looking like idiots. Luke was in the bathroom leaving the door open so Ash didn’t have to stand by it. Even though Luke was taking a shower he left it open cause it’s not like Ashton would come creeping up and watch him take a shower. After his shower Luke came out in just a towel. And lets just say Ashton well um was not having the purest thoughts.

Luke pulled on some boxers and hopped into bed. “Night Ash.” Luke said closing his eyes. “Night Lukey” Ashton said and closed his eyes as well. The two both fell asleep with in two minutes unknowingly dreaming of each other.


	3. Chapter Three

Luke woke uo in the middle of the night and for some reason when he woke it felt like a wave of depression and sadness had just surged through him. He felt like he wanted to cry so he did and that's when the thoughts started. You're not good enough for Ashton. He doesn't really love he's just saying that because he doesn't want people to know he's in a band with a depressed faggot like you. You're only in the band because they pitty you. None of them care about you. Why don't you just kill yourself? Luke was so sad he looked over at Ashton he was still asleep. So Luke grabbed his phone and took out the razor that he hid in his phone case. He down at himself and let loose.

Luke cut his left wrist first, then is right wrist, he did the same to both his thighs, he was looking to completely destroy himself once and for all. He continued cutting on his stomache, and then he the razor and drug into his palm an A and the an I. Ashton's intiales. Luke decided he wanted it all to be over with. He wanted to die. He turned his body to face Ashton and held the razor up to his neck. He let out an "I love you Ashton." But he accidentally let out a loud sob and Ashton woke up and he was absloutley horrorfied. "Luke please put the razor down." Ashton's eyes scanned down Luke's body it was covered in cut and he was losing a lot of blood.

"Why should I? I doesn't matter I wasn't good enough for the band always. One less problem in everybody's life right. Nobody will need to watch over Luke the loser to make sure.he doesn't kill himself. I'll already be dead." Luke says and starts to slowly slice across his neck loving the pain it brought."Luke please stop. I love you so much. Just please fucking stop. You do not know how much I love you Luke. I can not stand the thought of fucking losing you. So you know what Luke if you kill you're self I guess I will see you in the after life." Ashton said falling to the floor. This made Luke drop the razor. Ashton had just said he loved him and threatened to kill himself. "I'm sorry Ashton I so sorry I'm such a fuck up." Luke said. Ashton got up and held Luke close to his body not caring he was being covered in blood. He took out his phone and dialed 911. "Hello yes my friend tried to kill himself and he's bleeding out....20 minutes that's too fucking long I'll just drive him my god damn self." Ashton said hanging up. And carrying Luke out to the car.

He speed all the way to the hospital. He grabbed Luke running in screaming "Somebody help me! Anybody he's dying please help him!" A bunch of doctors and nurses rushed toward him taking Luke who.was now out cold. They rushed him away and a nurse came up to him and said "Sir. Sir what happened? Sir?" Ashton broke down in tears again and curled up into a ball a yelled out "Its my fault its all my fucking fault he tried to kill himself! He took a razor while I was sleeping and tried to tear himself to fucking shreads!" A nurse tried to help him up but he passed out, everything went black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ashton woke up in white room and the lights were bright and blinding him almost. He started to freak out. Where was he. Oh right he was in the hospital he passed out after.... what happened to Luke? Was he okay. Doctor came and said "Oh good Mr.Irwin you're up. How are you feeling?" "Where's Luke, is he okay, is he dead? He's dead isn't he and its all my fault." Ashton began to cry the doctor sighed and said "Mr.Irwin, Mr.Hemmings is-" there was a loud noise. "What the hell was that?!" the doctor yelled running out of the room. "Stay here Mr.Irwin I'll be right back." Ashton sobbed and let out a weak "What about Luke"


	4. Chapter Four

When Luke opened his eyes he saw bright white lights. "Is this Heaven?" he asked. Michael popped out of his seat. "Luke you're alive thank God. This isn't Heaven Luke its the hospital. I am so happy you're alive. But why Luke. Can't you tell how much we care, how much Ashton cares. Do you wanna know what Ash is doing right now, he is in his room crying. He thinks its all his fault. You've been out for two weeks Ashton had a panic attack when he brought you in. He almost had a heart attack last week cause you still weren't awake, like it was only another panic attack but it was close." Luke just blinked. "Before I passed out Ashton told me he loved me. Does he really, well I mean does he really love me like I think he loves me?" Luke asked. Calum smiled and said. "Well if you think that he loves you so much he keeps talking about when you woke up he was going to ask you out, than yes."   
Michael reached for Luke's hand, but when he did Luke hissed in pain. Michael grabbed it and looked at Luke's palm. He started to cry. "Oh my God Calum look at his palm its so.sad but so sweet I wanna cry." Calum started to tear up too. "Luke you carved his initales into your palm. That is so sweet but then again you were trying to kill yourself. You know what it just occured to me we should probably go get Ashton now." Luke smiled a bit. "Yeah you do that I'll wait here."

About a few minutes later Calum returned with Ashton. "Luke you're alive! I thought I had lost you. I love you so much. Don't you ever fucking do that to me again or I'll kill you myself." Ashton said hugging Luke tight kissing the top of Luke's head. "I love you too Ashton and I promise as long as I have you I won't. So Ashton Fletcher Irwin will you be my boyfriend?" Luke said looking up at Ashton. "Yes, yes of course I will." Ashton said kissing Luke passionatly. "Yes I got it all on camera." Michael said high fiving Calum. Luke and Ashton laughed.

Ashton reached for Luke's hand like Michael before but Luke flinched away. Ashton looked really hurt. "I'm sorry Ashton it just my palm I don't want you to see it." With that said Ashton reached for Luke's hand, he looked at his palm and started to cry. He kissed each letter first the A then the F and finally the I. "Luke I love you so, so much. Like more that Miley Cyrus loves to twerk." Luke smiled. "Ashton I want you to know that is the sweetest and most adorable thing anybody has ever said to me." And with that Luke reached up grabbed the back of Ashton's neck and pulled him down into a passionate kiss. "Well me and Mikey are going to give you guys some alone time, we'll be in the mess hall if you need us." Calum said and Ashton giggled into the kiss. They both pulled back "I love you Ash." "I love you too Luke."

(A/N: Sorry its short but hey its an update.)


End file.
